Duke Nukem: Glorious Bastard #2
We open where the last issue left off, with Duke's arrival in World War II, where he meets the three British, French, and American soldiers. If you're wondering how far into the book you have to go for one of Duke's signature lines, look no further than the first page.
And don't worry, that is one of seven times that particular phrase is used. The group has captured a nazi scientist and are pressign him for information when we cut to the underground of the base, showing a group of blonde, blue-eyed, leather clad people discussing droppign their connections with the Nazis, and focussing solely on the alien invaders. They all laugh smugly, and we cut back to the action. Duke explains his battle strategy...
...and we are off. The three soldiers and Duke fight off the alien pig creatures and slaughter them all. Amongst the battle Duke asks why the Frenchwoman is called the French Tickler, and she says if they survive she will show him. No surprise that that's exactly what happens after the battle. The Nazi scientist is found by one of the blonde people and killed, just as even bigger creatures arrive for battle. The end.
Verdict: C- Its just bland, boring, and all kinds of predictable. I mean, of course Duke lives but its so much fan service that it gets really old really fast.
Ok, last chance to heed my warning about reading this before Season 8 has been read- don't.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 9 #1
With the seed destroyed, Twilight slain, a vital friend killed, and the end of magic on Earth as we know it, there will be no more Slayers. So, no Slayer armies, no more Scooby gang, nothing. Buffy is a waitress in San Francisco, Xander and Dawn are trying to live as a normal couple, Willow is struggling with her loss of powers, Spike has returned from his trip with the roach aliens, and everyone has moved on in some way. But evil and demons still exist, and its up to the Slayer to handle them. We open on Buffy waking up in a bed she barely knows, unsure of how she got there, hung over, and naked. The book keeps jumping back and forth between present and the night before, so I'll try and keep up. We jump to the night before as Buffy opens the door for her friends for a party in her new apartment. First to arrive is Xander and Dawn, both characterized just as well as they always have: Witty & dorky and whiney & annoying respectively. We then meet Buffy's roomates, Anaheed, a clearly gay Asian girl, and Tumble, who doesn't speak much but looks like Shaggy from Scooby Doo. Commentary on the party, Xander?
Dawn can't figure out why the guy is named Tumble and luckily she disapears into the party from this point on really. More Xander and Buffy interaction really says something here though:
Willow arrives next with her date, who never speaks, but I'm almost positive is the really strong black slayer from season 7. Cutting to the present, we see Willow emerge from Buffy's bathroom, also nude, and after some awkward jokes, Willow eases Buffy's mind and assures her they didn't do anything naughty. She accidentally asks Willow to do a spell to fix her memory, and hits herself for forgetting. Willow is unaffected and kisses her head and tells her its ok. We cut for a single page to a homicide where a nameless former slayer has been killed with no apparent reason or by no identifiable way. Cutting back to last night's party, the "boys" arrive- The very married Riley Finn, the very undead Spike, and the very... Andrew, all of which are discounted from being dating material for the aforementioned reasons. Spike of course cannot enter without her permission so the two flirt for a moment with this scene:
And he is let in and slowly becomes the life of the party. Andrew chats up Buffy discussing how great his life has been since the magic went away, that he took some old squads of girls and now they work as disaster relief workers, to which Buffy feels ashamed that she doesn't do more. Cutting to the present, Buffy is enjoying a nice hot shower thinking about all the emotions she's feeling, chief among them- dread, as she remembers a moment when Spike told her that something is coming and its big and bad and completely not of this world. We cut to an office with two scared, well dressed people handing a file over to a shadowy, smokey figure, who promises to find the girl and "smell her out." Cutting back tot he present Buffy, she is visiting her job where she was supposed to work, but was given the day off after what happened last night... which is still unexplained. Cut to a dungeon somewhere where demons are attempting keep a gate sealed, but they are overpowered by a blue/gray skinned dreadlocked creature that I recognize, but cant name... maybe the Judge? Cut to present Buffy trying to rethink last night, but all she can picture now is playing chicken in the pool with Andrew against her roomate and Riley. Speaking of, we cut to last night as Buffy and Riley are taking a walk together and Buffy is drunkenly hitting on him. Checking out his surveilance van, the two discuss monster hunting and what kind of work he's done since the magic ended. She pulls him into the van, and tells him the thing needs a woman's touch. In the present, she remembers him pushing her off since he was married. Her roomates come in and discuss having her friends over more often because of how great they are. The female is excited at the chance to see Willow more and apparently Spike and Tumble are starting a band together. Cut to a pink haired slayer who is pissed at what Buffy did and is now out to end humanity so that the Slayers can be on top once again (or some crap... that part was really dumb). Cut to the night before where Xander looks tired as Buffy shows him her room, and she's drunk and bouncy, as he mocks her happiness. Then this happens...
I'll stand by what I said long ago- Xander is the biggest jerk. Also at the party, we see Buffy dancing on tables, flirting with her hippie manager and the resteraunt, discussing with the cops who came to investigate the noise about how she scored well on being a cop on an aptitude test, Spike druink and fighting insects (regular sized ones- not giant ones) and not letting them join he and Tumble's band, Buffy juggling stuff and promising to do it naked next time, and then dirty dancing with the two cops. In the present, Buffy walks the streets on patrol as Willow and Spike join her. Spike makes a joke and she makes a snide comment, to which he is surprised she'd say such a thing after last night... (We're never going to find out what happened, are we?). Willow comments that she hopes its not too late to stop this ultimate evil out there, when that smokey creature speaks from the alley that it is already too late for Buffy Summers. Now she has to pay...
Comments anyone?
Fair enough.
Verdict: A-. A strong start to this new season and whole new world for Buffy. While the ending is kinda cheap and honestly just a big joke, its still a solid story with a lot of plotlines growing, even if we never found out what happened that night. Or with who. Well, next time on the blog- the next 13 issues in DC's New 52.
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