New 52: Round 2, Week 1

Ok, as we begin Round 2, DC sent out two more books. I guess these will take the place of the two books I dropped: Men of War and Green Arrow. I tried to read Men of War but it was so boring I actaully fell asleep. Green Arrow wasn't boring but it was dumb. The Smallville version is quick to get on the readers nerves and I'm done with the series. However, he may reappear in my upcoming musical Smallville: Turn off the Clark. Yeah... that was a dumb joke. Moving on...

Action Comics 2

So, I'm not sure if anyone is aware of this, but Lex Luthor is a really sore loser. At teh end of the last issue, Supes was captured by the military and this issue picks right up with his torture at the hands of Luthor and Gen. Lane, which mostly involves the hero being strapped to an electric chair and shocked with enough power to light Metropolis for a day or two. Lex is determined to find out the secrets that this alien is keeping from him, and even more determined to find his weakness. Lois arrives on the base and accosts her father for being so cruel and that Superman should be freed. He brushes her off and she is then helped by her exboyfriend John Corben, who Superman fans may remember for becoming Metallo. Luthor finally stops the torture to gloat about the way that he captured the Man of Steel and that eventually he would be exiled to whatever planet he is invading from. Supes uses this chance to catch his breath and gain the strength to escape, all the while mocking Lex for talking too much. Cue this:
He gets out, winks at Lois, and then flies off, all the while maintaining his devil-may-care attitude. Lex is fired by Lane and Corben decides to undergo transformations so that he can be powerful and make Lois love him (Spoiler: It won't).

Verdict: A-. My only issue with the story is that they make Luthor seem so weak and cowardly, and as a longtime Lex fan, I don't buy that about him for a minute.

Animal Man 2

Man... this comic just keeps being awesome and downright creepifying. We pick up right where we left off last time with Maxine summoning all the nearby dead animals to be her pets. Wile this scene is horrifying, it is also very endearing to see the family sticking with one another and the daughter whose naivete is really overwhelming. She refuses to send all the dead animals back to being dead so their house is just full of dead animals which the kids just love playing with. Maxine tells her father that something very bad is coming and they need to go save the web of life. When he asks what that is, the same blood tattoos that appeared in the last issue appear a bit more permanantly all over his body. An angry neighbor shows up with Buddy's son in a headlock, saying that the kid was trying to break into his house and Maxine does what any little sister would do- turns the man's arm into a chickens claw. This is apparently very painful and Buddy and Maxine quickly leave. Meanwhile at the San Diego zoo, some pregnant hippos have died, but their bodies keep expanding, which scares three zookeepers who try and run away from the weird sight. They don't make it and are eaten by the three creatures from the previous issue, which take the forms of the three men, announcing that the hunt for the avatar has begun.

Verdict: A. Very solid book that is definitely in the top five books in the whole relaunch.

Batwing 2

This... is a very personal comic, and everything feels really up close the entire way through. From beginning to end, there are only a few panels where more than two characters are featured. The art is really grainey, but with the African setting, it kind of feels like it really works. The story is still pretty standard. Batwing is stabbed through his lung and barely survives. He then adorns his armor, long before he whould physically be ready to do so, and heads out to fight Massacre before he kills another retired hero, one very reminiscent of Black Lightning.

Verdict: B-. Its certainly better than it was last month, but it just doesn't hold my attention long enough. I'm going to give it another week, but I don't expect to stick with it for long.

Detective Comics 2

So, I gave this comic a chance last time because I knew it was your standard Batman vs. the Joker type story that a lot of comics start with. This time, it takes a complete turn. I don't think the Joker's in it, but I could be wrong. This thing opens with Batman going to Arkham to investigate Joker's attempt to recreate Face/Off, but is quickly run off by Jeremiah Arkham, who, last I checked was an inmate of Arkham and not the head of the place. And by "last I checked," I mean that he was in Batman #1 as an inmate with a skull painted on his face. Anyway, some detective work is done with the help of Gordon and Bullock, and Batman is led to an abandoned apartment where he gets clued in with a call that Gordon was kidnapped. Tracing the call, he finds a family of patchwork faces, straight out of Twisted Metal Black, who fight and eventually subdue Batman. Before going in for the kill, they show what they've been busy while he was on his way over:

I'm going to tell you right now- if he's dead, I'm going to spin kick Tony Daniel into a woodchipper. Also, is it just me or does it look liek Bruce is laughing? The endings have been unexpected, but to what end?

Verdict: C-. I really should drop this into the icy depths, but I need to finish this storyline to be sure, so it gets a pass for a little while longer.

Hawk and Dove 2

Rob Liefeld's art isn't so awful in this issue so we are left to the writing strengths... which means this thing sucks and I don't really have enough joke material or alcohol to try and make this story any good. We do find out by the end that there are other bird characters, which brings our total to Hawk, Dove, Condor, Swan, and Osprey. Deadman shows up for a panel and Dove acts like a bitch and tells him to leave her alone... so I officially have no reason to stay with this thing.
Verdict: D. This should come as no surprise that we have our first casualty this week. DROPPED.

Justice League International 2
While I still don't buy the credible threat of the giant robot as much as the comic wants me to, I still enjoyed this comic. Its not as strong as the first issue but it does have some real characterization. Booster is shown to be more than a pretty face with product placement ties, August General is shown to be an honorable warrior who believes in the code of following your commader even if you disagree with him despite remaining at odds with Rocket Red who never walks away from a fight. Guy returns after Tora is badly injured but its questionable whether he will stay on or not. Batman also gets some fleshing out, appearing as a man who will not be intimidated, even by the United Nations. All in all, its a pretty standard bridge issue, and I expect the revelation that there are several giant robots to defeat, although the team couldn't even beat one, to factor heavily into the team's mentality in the next issue.

Verdict: B. Its not perfect but it does what it needs and I look forward to the next issue, no doubt about it.

OMAC 2

So, this I feel gave us the better look at what the comic is really going to be about. We have Kevin Kho who is being constantly haunted via electronic devices by Brother Eye who has a surprisingly funny persona. Kevin finds his way to a diner in Texas, and finally eats something for the first time in a day or so. Upon realizing that Kevin has no money and can't pay for the food he's just eaten, Brother Eye sends an bulletin to the local sherrif's dept that someone at the diner is a STAR Labs escapee. Its not Kevin, surprisingly, but the cook who appears to be the new Amazing Man and who was on the run from the government after being the subject of several tests. Facing being returned to teh government he activates his powers and turns into a huge rock creature. Kevin tries to run away but, in perhaps the best moment of the week, Brother Eye tells him that its "Time to OMACtivate!" Personally, I think "It's Morphin' time!" would have been more effective... but just barely. After the fight goes for a while, Amazing Man decides to try and absorb the OMAC skin, but upon doing that, he goes under the control of Brother Eye, who then atomizes the guy for "future use." Cutting over to Star Labs, we see that Mokkari is talking to someone who apparently represents Checkmate who we are purposely not shown until the last page where Brother Eye intercepts the call to challenge this Checkmate guy personally. Maxwell Lord. Really anxious to see what his role is in all of this, especially if some of the previous OMAC stuff is out of continuity.
Verdict: A-. I am still loving this series and I have no intention on dropping it.

Red Lanterns 2

Thic comic is just dumb. If this didn't have the final page it did and was issue one, I would have dropped it completely. We open on Atrocitis, again standing over Krona's dead body, and whining about how his rage cannot be quenched. Then we get some stupid story about these two warring planets and one of the planets sent a fighter jet to go kill some people on the other planet, but they had bad intel and accidentally killed some kids. Atrocitis shows up, kills the pilots, then asks the surviving kid if he feels better and the kid runs away. Atro gets sad, and says he's going to pick a new leader for the Red Lanterns... but who?
Verdict: D. Normally a D gets your comic dropped, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed that Dex-Starr becomes the new leader, or at least gets a much larger role. But this is almost definitely a DROP.

Static Shock 2

So apparently the whole arm loss thing was a fake out. Apparently the blad was so sharp that it cut perfectly and then the would closed up just as fast. This comic is just ok, and I'm just not moved at all. Which is a shame because I'm such a fan of the Static cartoon. I wish I could tell you what happened here but it was so average that its just a bore.

Verdict: C. Average comic gets an average grade. I will read next month's issue but I think this is probably headed for the drop pile

Stormwatch 2

In the same sense, we have Stormwatch which has a team full of people that I don't care anything about fighting against the moon, which has been possessed. I just don't care much for any of the Wildstorm bunch so I feel like this is also going into my drop pile. Its a C comic and its only redeeming feature is explaining how Stormwatch operates with the Justice League, which is pretty much by creating evidence that points towards a scapegoat.

Swamp Thing 2

So, this comic has a LOT of dialogue and words. There's a two page spread that is probably 85% word balloons. The original Swamp Thing, who was a WWI pilot talks to Holland about becoming the Swamp Thing again and saving the world from the Other, which all of life, both the Green (vegetation) and the Red (those with Blood) fears. Pretty sure this thing should be called the Black but I feel like that's kinda passe and expected. There is a definite link to the Animal Man comic but no crossover seems to be in sight. Anyway, Holland still walks away from his duties as Swamp Thing and goes on living his life. Or, he would, but he gets attacked by a horde of the backwards head people, and is only saved by a passing motorcyclist that picks him up, then puts a gun to his face. The rider is Abigail Arcane, and while I don't know or care who that is, I like this comic a lot.

Verdict: B. It's nowhere near as good as its animal based cousin book, but this thing manages its creepiness and its "world's in danger" attitude well enough that I have no plans to drop it. Now, onto the freshmen series...

Huntress 1

For me, this book seems really lackluster and there's nothing here to indicate that its different from any other Huntress story. She goes and kills or seriously wounds bad people, and in this case its slavers, which are kind of the go to villains for street level heroes because its hard to be on the side of people who profit by selling people, usually children, or making them work for free. They are awful and should suffer, we get it. Glad this is a miniseries and not a full blown series... maybe she'll return to Birds of Prey and make that book readable again.

Verdict: C. Although I'm glad to see something by Levitz that's not unreadable like Legion, this comic is just average. Its nothing special and I just don't have time for mediocrity when I have fantastic books to read. DROPPED.

Penguin: Pride and Prejudice 1

To be honest, I'm still sorting this book out. I feel like its the same kind of story we got with Joker's Asylum a couple years ago. In fact, that story was regarded as the best Penguin story in decades, and Batman wasn't even in it. THis is the exact same story- people were mean to me, I love birds, the mean people killed my birds and made me mean, some random guy barely slighted me and now I'm going to ruin his life in overkill ways that are normally saved for the build of an Aristocrats joke. The difference is that in the JA story, the Penguin's story was a tragic one and you feel bad for the guy all the way throughout. He was in love and because he can't help who he is, he creates a prison around himself. It was a one-shot story and it was great. This comic however shows him as unlikeable throughout and although we get some tender bits with his mom, who he loves, he is just detestable from start to finish. I guess I just don't understand what we are supposed to get from this. We know he's not going to die. We know that he won't go to prison- that doesn't solve anything. And he's not going to realize the error of his ways because that destroys the character. The story will probably end with him being depressed and alone, but I don't care. I have seen, via solicits that this is comparable to what Azzarello did with Joker and Luthor, but he gave us narrators that we wouldn't hate until the last parts. Man of Steel was through Lex Luthor's eyes, Joker was writen through the eyes of a henchman. I can't feel the same way when my narrator has tax information hacked, an old woman and an apartment burned to teh ground, a couple driven off a cliff, and an innocent young woman injected with AIDS all because this guy accidentally ran into the narrator. I'm done with this, I'm pretty sure.

Verdict: C-. Unoriginal story with a narrator I hate, and the only thing keeping me on the line is the possibility that it might be a good turnaround story like Riddler got before his turn as a detective. But unless the story is leaps and bounds above this, Drop.

So a few books got the stamp of disapproval, once again dropping my number of books. Check the "Keeping score" each week to what things currently look like, as I'll update it as much as I can.

New 52: Week 1

So, one week into the new 52, and I'm still on the fence about a lot of these books. There are some stellar books, and there are some really weak stuff too. And I've already decided to drop one book, so unless we get a big reaction from readers to keep it going, I'm going to drop at least one of these books. Since its so worrisome to deal with all the formatting issues, I think I will drop my author/title/Highs/Lows areas, so I can just give you a straight Verdict. So let's hit each, alphabetically.

Action Comics
Like Justice League, this book takes place 5 years ago, where Superman was just getting started. We open on two gangsters meeting over an arms deal, when Superman arrives in a red blur. He calls the two men "rats with guns." And then his eyes turn red. We cut to the police showing up, ready to arrest and take down the mysterious super vigilante. One of the gangsters is identified as "Mr. Metropolis" with more money than anyone. Apparently, Superman took off with the man after melting and bending all the guns. Superman is standing on the ledge holding the gangster over the edge and tells the police that he'll drop the man when he confesses his crimes and understands that the law should work equally between the rich and the poor. Its not the Superman way, of course. When the gangster still refuses to talk, Supes just leans back and falls with his victim. Of course, he would never let the guy die, so he breaks the man's fall with his own body (remember that he can't fly yet). The gangster confesses, and everyone hears it. The police have no choice but to arrest the man and they try to do the same for Supes, but he simply tells them to focus on the real criminals so maybe he won't have to do their job for them. One of the officers fires, and Supes catches it, laughs, then tells the guy to watch that ulcer of his, and then speeds off. We cut to Lex Luthor and General Lane watching this footage from a bunker somewhere. Lane is chastising Luthor for wasting his time with petty promises like delivering the Superman by 8pm tonight. Luthor scoffs and tells him to relax, his next trap is coming. Luthor sent a wrecking group to a set of "empty" apartments that aren't so uninhabited after all. naturally Superman saves them, but is hit by a tank shooting electrifed nets. He proceeds to beat the crap out of the tank with the wrecking ball. The people come to Superman's aid with the second tank, and the soldiers won't hurt innocents. One of the children asks if he can really jump a tall building in a single bound... so Superman shrugs and says he's never tried from this part of the city. Then he jumps off and lands miles away on a rooftop. He changes into his Clark clothes and glasses, hits himself in the face a bit, and then goes downstairs. His landlord, startled by his injuries, tells him how sweet he is, and he needs to be careful researching stories for the Daily Star (another new development). He tells her that he's ok, he got worse beatings in Smallville when he lived with his parents. The landlord, Mrs. Nyxly (Yeah, say that name and see if anyone comes to mind) asks for the rent and tells him that two good looking men and a blonde woman came by to see him (Predictions that its the Legionaire Three?). Clark gets a call from his best friend Jimmy Olsen (who's drawn like Moe Howard, for some reason) that some mob enforcers are on the train platform with him and Lois, but Lois is annoyed that Jimmy's giving a story to a rival newspaper's guy. So she and Jimmy head on the train with the mob guys. Turns out the mob guys are now off the train and the thing is rigged to blow up. Superman races over and catches the train at a tunnel, but something's wrong and Supes can't stop the thing, and now its got a mind of its own. As the train-rocket propels through Metropolis, we cut back to Gen. Lane and Luthor, and Lane is beyond pissed that his daughter is trapped in Luthor's contraption. Luthor ignores the man and cites how the Cane Toad and Brown Tree Snake each destroyed their respective ecosystem after being introduced to the area by man. Luthor promises that he will end this alien menace here and now with the largest bullet he had on hand. He then motions to a tv screen where Superman has stopped the train, and pinned himself to the Daily Planet building. Its unclear whether or not he's alive in the picture, but we all know the answer.
Verdict: A. This is a solid book and a very interesting new take on the oldest character in the company. The writing is solid and Morrison's take on Superman and how he is both the nicest guy in the world and the most dangerous weapon at the same time is something that glows from his work on All Star Superman. I strongly suggest this book. The only trip up is the changes feel really forced, and maybe that will change, but the book seems to be doing all sorts of new stuff and winking at the reader the whole time.

Animal Man

I'm not going to lie, this was the best book of the week. I might be the only one that thinks so, but seriously, this thing is great. We open up on an interview between Buddy Baker, Animal Man, and the writer of the comic, Jeff Lemire. Yeah... the writer of the comic put himself in this, and you know... it works. Buddy retired as Animal Man a while back and this picks up on his career as an actor on a show about heroes, where he plays a retired, and downtrodden hero. Cutting to the scene, we see that Buddy is worried that he is coming off as glib, and his wife Ellen is just ignoring him. She's trying to cook for the family while their daughter, Maxine, with her stuffed dog, Mr. Woofers, is screaming about wanting a pet. Buddy says they can't get one because if he spends too much time with one animal his powers get out of whack. His wife chimes in that he never uses his powers anymore anyway so what does it matter? He gets upset that she was the reason he gave up the hero game in the first place, and she just shakes her head. Their son, Cliff (who has a kickass mullet), arrives and tells his dad that someone's shooting in the hospital. His wife wants him to eat dinner, but he won't stay, and knows he needs to go be a hero. He uses the flight of some birds to fly over to the hospital. Cops greet him and update him that a man is in the children's ward. His daughter was diagnosed with cancer, and along the way of trying to get her help, he lost custody of her, and didn't know that she died a few days ago. Now he's got a gun and wants to see his daughter. Buddy tries to talk the man down, but the guy freaks out and shoots Buddy. Luckily, Buddy reaches out to a rhino and gains his skin for just a couple seconds. He then reaches for his favorite animal powers- strength of an elephant, fly reflexes, cheetah speed, and the bark of a dog, just to scare the guy. Despite his hatred of violence, Buddy clocks the guy and the man apologizes and goes with the cops. Buddy stands to thank the officers, when his eyes begin bleeding profusely. Medically, there's nothing wrong with him, and they can't figure out what caused this. After his checkup, he heads home and goes to bed. We get a long monologue here about how important everyone in his family is, and how much he loves them. He begins to dream, where his son is running towards him screaming that they need to get out of here. Maxine has done horrible things and something even worse to her mother. When Cliff gets closer, he sees that Cliff is just holding his guts in, and the boy dies. maxine shows up with a giant monster Mr. Woofer, and she's wearing his costume. The girl and the dog try and cross a river of blood, but are sucked in. Buddy begins to lose his own skin now and he is reduced to a circulatory system. Suddently, these three nightmare beasts, called the Hunters Three (a giant fly/giraffe mixture, an elephant/worm creature, and what I can only describe as a cactus/octopus thing- like I said... seriously scary shit) arise from the blood and claim to be the true fathers of Maxine. Buddy wakes up suddently to his wife screaming from outside. He rushes downstairs to his wife and son looking horrified. This is what caused this reaction:
If you can't see what's happening here, Maxine has brought dead animals to life to play with her because she wants a pet so badly. Its pretty gross.

Verdict: A. Man, this book begins like a celeb magazine, then turns to a family comedy, then an action/hero film, then a horror movie, then to something much worse in real life. The book is a roller coaster, and it knocks every step of this out of the park. Every character feels real and I cannot praise this book enough. This seems the least effected by the new universe, and seems to just continue from the Last Days of Animal Man, just with a new costume.

Batgirl

Well, they can’t all be winners. I’ve never cared about Barbara one way or another, but I was open to the status quo reboot. Personally, I would have been far better with them acting like the Killing Joke never happened rather than do this Molotov cocktail of weird continuity choices. I echo a lot of people's feelings on how over-the-top her whole gun fear is, but in a way, it’s kind of a funny choice of stakes. We aren’t so much supposed to join Batgirl in the fear that she may die. We’re supposed to join Batgirl in the fear that she may again be put in a wheelchair. That’s funny because a lot of people want just that! It’s almost like taunting us. It reminds me of an old Wolverine comic I flipped through years ago back when he had bone claws. The cliffhanger had some villains preparing to experiment on Wolverine and force the adamantium back onto his skeleton. But… but that’s a good thing! I wanted that to happen and I’m sure a bunch of other people did too! I did enjoy the fight sequence against the serial killer group, but Chris Eckert had pointed out something about Simone’s villains that has ruined it for me. Simone can’t seem to write a compelling villain and instead will make them all come off as Hitler’s bowling team. Everyone is like an Ennis Punisher villain only without the need to go out of the way to make them more outright sinister than the protagonist. Well, maybe not with Secret Six, but it was still jarring when every villain is the worst person ever. Same pattern holds in the scene of the masked guys talking about how they’re the most evil men to evil evil. I was in the middle on this comic at this point and even the foreboding main villain of the Mirror looked like he could have some potential. The moment everything sunk like a rock was the moment we got to meet Barbara’s excessively annoying new roommate. How much do I hate this character? Let me count the ways… Ten. She’s in ten panels so I hate her in ten ways. I know this is Simone and all, but if there was ever a comic book female who needed a fridging… Sorry. Got off on a tangent. The comic opens up on this old guy being murdered by The Mirror because he was the only survivor of some boating accident. We skip to barbera in full regalia swinging through the city, now planning to take down a group of sadistic killers that are ripped straight from the Strangers. After the fight we see Barbara's dreams where she thinks back the Killing Joke's key moment where the Joker shot her and wakes up in a cold sweat. She walks out and hugs her dad, a much younger Commissioner Gordon, with red hair, and tells him that she needs to move out. She spent three years in the chair (no word whether or not her time as Oracle is in continuity) and now wants to move on like other girls her age. Jump a couple weeks to barbera meeting the roomate. Oh my god... is this girl the worst. And she's a feminist activist.. which isn't why I hate her, but it doesn't help her at all. Cut to a hospital where a survivor of a savage gunfight is being held, under the care of a nameless old detective and Renee Montoya. Barbara gets a signal, tied to her dad's police radio that someone's shooting up the hospital, and heads that way. Mirror shows up and kills old detective and shoots Montoya in the arm. The Mirror attempts to push the hospitalized survivor out, but Batgirl arrives and fights him. He points the gun at her, apparently similar to the Joker did, and Barbara freezes with fear, and the man is pushed to his death. The Mirror begins to escape and Montoya draws her gun on Barbara, saying she's just as responsible for that man's death.

Verdict: C-. Not gonna lie, after the two awesome issues, I was let down by this one. Somehow they found a way to have Barbara walk again that pissed off both sides of the "should she?" debate that's been raging for months. The story is just bland... but I already ripped this thing enough already.

Batwing

I don't even know where to start witht his one. The Batman of Africa is a dumb enough concept as is but this just is something else. Its somehow worse and not as bad as I thought it would be. We open to the present where Batwing is fighting Massacre and losing. Massacre uses his machete to pin batwing up against a rock, and then goes to kill a bus full of people. The we cut to six weeks ago, where Batwing takes out a convoy of gang members and killers, just as Batman arrives to lay some smack on these guys too. The leader squeels that he doesn't want to be butchered like a cow liek everyone else. Batwing and Bruce arrive at the camp and see what he means. The word WRONG is written in blood on the wall, over several butchered bodies. Batwing says he will contact the authorities. Turns out, that's him-David Zavimbe- a cop with the Tinasha police department. Apparently, this department is just as corrupt save for him, and a female officer who is struggling to be better. She actually presses an investigation of the crime scene which makes David happy. Jumping to his version of the Batcave, he meets with Bruce to discuss the case, along with David's mentor, Matu Ba (who looks like an old Nick Fury), who heads up a rescue mission for child soldiers. They discover that one of the people killed was actually a hero named earth Strike, who were part of the Kingdom, Africa's Justice League. David heads back to work to share this information, when he finds his entire precint butchered, but the girl is nowhere to be found. He turns aroudn to run, but is grabbed, and has a machete driven right through his chest. See?
Verdict: C. This is really good comic storytelling actually. In addition to great art, we meet the hero, we get some background on him, brief peek at origin, a strong clifhanger, and most importantly, we have a credible villain. The problem is the dialogue is so boring that much of this doesn't even matter. The much bigger problem is that of the Batman of Africa bit. Apparently this takes place in the DRC (Democratic Republic of Congo), but it is never stated explicitly. All the other books take place in America, but there is a distinct location. I can tell you, having never set foot in Africa, that Egypt is different from South Africa which is different from Nigeria. Its just ignorant... and that's no good.

Detective Comics

This was just plain depressing to read... Daniel is not that good a writer and he tends to do everything in efforts to please his master Morrison, but it always falls flat. This is no exception. We open to Batman thinking about the death toll the Joker has had in his six years (114), and he has never been caught (So anything that involves Joker being incarcerated from previous continuity is now out the window). Batman has a plan to stop him this time. Cutting to some workshop nearby, we see a guy with a piece of skin fashioned into a mask beating up the Joker, but the Joker gets in close and rips his throat out with his teeth. The man proceeds to say this is an honor to be killed by the Joker, and the Joker obliges him by stabbing him 30 times. batman arrives, and the place explodes with fire for some reason I still haven't found. Probably just so Batman, who is about to capture the Joker when he spots a little girl trapped under some boxes, is faced with a choice. Of course the girl is saved, and the Joker, who is naked, by the way, escapes. The cops arrive and begin shooting at Batman instantly, but Gordon shows up and stops them. Batman gets the girl safely out and gets in the Batmobile and heads home and ponders why the Joker was naked. We get a full page where Batman thinks about the Joker's nudity and what it means... its just awful. He arrives in his cave and is met with a holographic Alfred who informs him that he missed another date with some girl, and Bruce just shrugs it off and says to send her something nice. He heads out to meet Gordon at the Batsignal to discuss the events of the night. Gordon tells him that the girl overheard where the Joker's hiding, and in Batman fashion, disapears once he has the info he needs. He arrives at the same time as the SWAT team and they all head up to take down the Joker, and it comes as no surprise that this is a trap, and its just a Joker doll, which explodes, killing all the SWAT guys. Batman escapes and notices one person not looking at the explosion and knows its Joker. The Joker boards a train and a litle girl points at him and says that there's a monster, the Joker begins to laugh when the girl goes on to describe the monster as a giant bat. Then the smale disapears, and the villain gets punched out. He triggers some of his signature gas and escapes. Batman cracks the windows so no one can get too much exposure, and chases him. They fight for a few pages, and the Joker is beaten. He awakens in Arkham where Batman was "smart to send him," or so says Jeremiah Arkham, restored head of the asylum. Joker is locked away in the dark, when someone comes into his cell, and the two converse like old friends. The voice asks if Joker is ready for the transformation, and he says yes and calls the man Dollmaker. Cue this final page:

So... Face/Off in a comic... fair enough.

Verdict: C. The only reason this thing rose above a D is that I think the next couple issues will be worth it. I can kinda understand that Batman and Green lantern are the only ones unaffected by the reboot for the most part, and even Green Lantern has a different title character. This is the kind of book that will get people reading. Especially if you liked Dark Knight. Its the same basic idea- Joker kills, Batman tries to stop him, and even in beating him, the Joker had already planned for this. I'll wait until next issue to make any real judgements.

Green Arrow

So, I said from the get go on Smallville that Green Arrow was pretty much Batman, but without all the copyright entanglements... this kinda proves my point. The Ollie we see here is most definitely a cardboard cutout of the version we saw on the show. And I said cardboard on purpose, because even Justin Hartley was better than what we have been give here. This thing is just plain boring. I honestly can't even review it without yawning, really. He's basically Steve Jobs with a hero complex. He doesn't have any of the personality of the Ollie we love. The villains are also uber-forgettable. The story is so second rate, that I don't know what to do with it.

Verdict: D-. This thing is ok and average in every respect, but the problem is that they took a character who I loved and turned him into Steve Jobs with a bow mixed with some lame boy band reject. Its just beyond tiring. This was a hard choice, but when it comes to reviewing, consider this book DROPPED.

Hawk and Dove

Oh Rob Liefeld... what is your appeal? I have to give my friend Stuart credit, just looking at the cover in the shop as we mocked it, he said "Can you imagine how business deals go with Rob Liefeld- 'We're going to pay you for the next 20 years to slowly learn to be almost as good as a bunch of other artists out there are naturally.'" The comic however isn't awful.. just not good. We are given our heroes, fighting a zombie on a plane, and then we get Hawk telling his dad how his brother died for the first time in three years in the midst of a relatively normal conversation. "Yeah, man, Dove really gets on my nerves. BTW, did I ever tell you when your other son was murdered by falling rocks?" The scene then cuts to Dawn and boyfriend Deadman frolicking upon rooftops and in no immediate danger, then Dove drops to street level, landing on and destroying a car. And then just walks off, without a care in the world. This thing screams early 90's as all Liefeld work does. Its like he has a time machine in his drawings, but the only place it takes you is to 1994. This comic should come with a pair of Lee jeans, a can of Surge, a Backstreet Boy single, and laserdisc of Speed 2. The comic ends with the appearance of a new bird based muscle behemoth, that apparently kills people.

Verdict: C-. I know I should drop it like GA, but I just want to see one more week. Plus all this mocking of Liefeld gives me something to do with my life, so maybe it will stay on my list... as a joke.

Justice League International

A lot of people were upset that the first issue of Justice League didn't have all the characters from the cover in the issue, and the creators responded that its almost impossible to have a book that introduces a whole team of characters at once and has a decent plot. This book does the impossible. We open on the United Nations where they want to put together a team of heroes that is under the employ of the UN, made of international heroes. They argue and argue about the roster, but decide on Fire, Ice, Rocket Red, August General in Iron, Guy Gardner, Godiva, and put Booster Gold in charge since they feel he can be easily controlled and bought. Upon meeting the team, Booster is quickly met with insults and Gardner goes so far as to walk out at the thought of being led by a sellout. But Batman shows up and stops him, and tells him that he trusts Booster, which Gardner ignores and flies off. Before the team can really get to know each other, they get their first call to go save a group of missing scientists. Batman immediately takes charge of the team (because why not?) and Booster seems to be both thankful and resentful at the same time. While we are on the topic of feelings, I have to say that I love the interaction between Rocket Red and August General. The deep-seeded feelings that the two men have for each other's country serves as a great resource for their constant bickering, which is a great read, in and of itself. The jet lands and the team is instantly attacked by a giant robot.

Verdict: A-. Its not a perfect book but it is a solid read, no doubt. I think this book would work wonders for new readers, and I think this will be a book to watch.

Men of War

Maybe, I'm just not a war kind of guy, but this book was really forgettable for me. And I actually expect this to be the first book cancelled from this week's selections, not because its bad, but because it just doesn't have the audience I think it needs. We open on two soldiers drilling another soldier for not progressing through the ranks at the rate he should. The soldier, identified as Sgt. Frank Rock's grandson, states that he is an infantryman, and not the kind of guy who needs to give orders. Needless to say, he is drafted for a mission where he will have no choice but to take charge, when the commanding officer is killed in action. There is a backup story about two soldiers in Vietnam, but its even more forgettable than the primary story.

Verdict: C. Like I said, not a bad book, but not a memorable or overwhelmingly good one either. I think I'm going to read it for next week, and if its not any good, it can consider itself Dropped.

OMAC

So, me not being a war comics guy was a surprise to no one, but the surprise to everyone this week came with this book. I was FLOORED at how good this book actually was. And after his awful run on the Outsiders, I truly believed that Didio was in the wrong career. But somehow he found a way to keep on truckin' and find the magic that made his Metal Men spot in Wednesday Comics be awesome. OMAC is a character/concept that I never really cared for, even after the huge revamp the name got right before Infinite Crisis. Here we have our human star, Kevin Kho, absent until the last two pages, and the entire story is taken from the accounts of his coworkers as the OMAC, which is Kho's enhanced body, is attacking Star Labs. This is apparently a front for Darkseid's operations, as Mokkari, D's chief scientist is running experiments with the Cadmus project. As all things with Cadmus, there are a few cameos from famous faces, including Dubbilex, the telepathic and telekinetic alien guard. Not surprisingly, OMAC takes down all those that stand in its way of destroying some prime weapon that could endanger the world... or was it that dangerous. After all the ruckus, Kevin wakes up, unaware of where he is, only remembering going to the bathroom when things got weird. He gets a cell phone call taht tells him not to worry and that everything is fine. The voice?

Look at that... the evil satellite is now looking after its host's social life. Perhaps its not so evil in this continuity, but we shall see. I love how everyone is simultaneously blase and terrified from one scene to another. This was in my top five definitely this week.

Verdict: A-. This book was full of surprises, maybe because I had such low expectations. Now next issue will be horrible because I liked this one so much.

Static Shock

The Static book is pretty much exactly what you would expect it to be... I'll have to give teh writer a hand with his characterization. He is basically Peter Parker without all the heavy "great responsibility" schtick. He seems to be ripped straight from the Milestone pages with a hint of the cartoon thrown in and the book just works really well. We open to a huge fight in downtown New York where a bunch of superpowered criminals are trying to commit robberies, but luckily Static stops them, says witty things, and then goes home to his family. I'm still trying to pinpoint the age of Static/Virgil Hawkins. He was a senior in high school on the cartoon, and here he still isn't able to drive since he is without a license. He quickly leaves his family to talk to his boss, Hardware, and goes on another patrol. This time, the villains are ready for the teen, as an assassin begins shooting at him. The bullets are repelled by his magnetic field, but the third item, some sort of laser buzz saw... well, it kinda hits the mark...

Yeah... like I said, I'll have to hand it to the writers here. All jokes aside, I feel its pretty telling that DC can't go one week intot he new world without someone losing a hand or a limb. This does not look good for Homestar Ru- I mean, Aquaman...
Verdict: B. Its a solid book and I will stick with it just to see what the reprecussions are like for the hero with only one arm... though that looks like a clean cut so maybe he'll get it all fixed up by next month.

Stormwatch

To be fair, I never read the original Stormwatch, but did enjoy a lot of the Authority. While there’s a lot of info left to be dumped, there’s enough here to keep me interested. If anything, it has the big, weird threat concept that would usually keep the Authority busy, much like the time they had to fight “God”. In this case, it’s because the moon has horns that make it look like a claw and it’s coming to kill us all. You know, years ago at work while hanging out in the break room at BAM, a stoner guy once told me that he wanted to make a movie where the antagonist was the moon and I looked at him like he was a stoner guy who told me about a movie plot where the antagonist was the moon. Maybe I should have been more supportive. There’s a scene in there where one member of Stormwatch gets taken over by an extraterrestrial deity of some sort in order to help strengthen them against the upcoming moon threat. It reminds me of the plot of the Ultimate Galactus trilogy, which I liked but thought could have been done better. So maybe we’ll get that here. The main criticisms I’ve found from elsewhere are that the art isn’t good and that it’s too set on having everyone introduce their powers. The first part didn’t really faze me. I don’t mind the art at all. The other part seems necessary. After all, this is a superhero comic where the characters don’t dress or act like superheroes. They kind of need to remind you that they’re superheroes. More than anything, I just love the concept. Ever since the reboot was announced, I was intrigued by the idea of Wildstorm characters being inserted into the DCU proper. The fact that Martian Manhunter is hanging out with this crowd instead of being the tired backbone of the Justice League makes it sweeter. There’s something fitting about him working with the likes of Hawksmoor.
Verdict: B+. Its an interesting book to say the least and the most mysterious. Also, the moon is the bad guy. How could that not be awesome?

Swamp Thing

Seeing that they are both famous in the Vertigo-verse, its no surprise that Swamp Thing just comes across as Animal Man's little brother. The main character here, Alec Holland, is just not interesting at all. We find the famed, and resurrected botanist, working as a construction worker in Louisianna when these hiccups of death begin to happen all over the world. Birds, bats, rodents- all begin to just die out in large packs. The heroes turn to Holland for answers, but he shrugs them off, saying he isn't the Swamp Thing anymore. They shrug and fly off while he suffers from random plants trying to grab him. Meanwhile at an archaelogical dig, the bones of a mammoth and several other dead things have come to life. That night, three scientists notice their finds are missing and assume them stolen. One gets a fly in his ear and begins to scream, and then BREAKS HIS OWN NECK, which is quickly followed by him chasing the other two down, and the same thing begins to happen to them. Cue this scene.
All the dead life in the area is joining together to form whatever that creature is up there. Holland is unaware of this and is about to destroy some miracle cure when Swamp Thing arrives to stop him and tell him that he needs help.

Verdict: B-. All the creepiness of Animal Man without all the personality. I think this book will get better, or it will stay on like this. Either way, I will stick with it for a few more issues.

That does it for me guys. 13 books into the new 52, and I've already dropped 1 (maybe 2), so let's see what this week has in store for us.