Darkwing Duke

Its a weird combination, I know, but I'm trying to cram as many of these in as I can without blowing up anyone's subscription box... not that anyone's reading, but I figured I should do this the rightest way I can... here goes:

Duke Nukem: Glorious Bastard #1

Tom Waltz and Xermanico

"Balls of Steel" If you've never played or even heard some of the clips from Duke Nukem games, this basically sums this game/guy up: Bad aliens show up and Duke kills them with his half Ash from Army of Darkness/ half Roddy Piper in They Live personality

Summary: I'm not going to pretend that this is a great read or that this deserves an Eisner award. Its ridiculous and is just an action game/shooter translated into pictures and word bubbles. We open on a Nazi compound during World War II where the Nazis have asked for the help of Maria, an alien, with the war. She promptly kills all the Nazis in the room and unleashes a lot of big alien monsters. Outside the compound are three soldiers: Elise the Frenchwoman, General Conner Sean (HAHA! I GET IT) of British Intelligence, and Lt. Flip Henry the African American Buffalo Soldier. The three argue over what to do with the knowledge about the incoming alien invasion. We then cut to Duke's bedroom in the present, where he has pushed 4 women to sexual exhaustion (This is absolutely ridiculous). He leaves them and goes outside, all the while spurting his inane catchphrases, to tan with this special product:

Just when you think your head can't take anymore of this juvenile crap, his butler arrives to announce the arrival of Elise, our hot French WW2 soldier. Only now she's old, and Duke wants nothing to do with her. She shows him a photo of the three soldiers and Duke all shooting aliens during WWII, and although he is not surprised by his appearance in the past, he is however interested in gettign with the younger Elise, so he agrees to go back in time. How he gets there is never explained but just as the three soldiers are taking fire from the creatures, Duke arrives and kills them all. Cue Frenchwoman swooning. The End.

Highs: As a guy, I love the ridiculous, and this is above and beyond ridiculous. The art in here is actually pretty decent.

Lows: The dialogue is beyond bad, and that's not even counting the never ending 6 catchphrases.

Verdict: C+. Its entertaining, no question about it. But its not good at all either.

Darkwing Duck #14

Ian Brill and James Silvani

"CAT-tastrophe:" This is the best comic series out right now if you loved the show as a kid. Which, of course, I did. The announcement this week that the series, and all Disney's comics, are ending in October saddened me greatly. I only hope that Marvel actually uses these characters well and can bring on the same writer/artist teams that have made them successful. But anyway, previously, we were given a setup of Darkwing running for Mayor... that's about all I can say really.

Summary: We open on his mayoral rally where tv screens are showing off all the villains he's caught recently... except I've never seen any of these guys except One Shot (best villain use ever), so I'm not sure what to think, but I'm hoping we can see more of what I can only describe as Space Walrus, Sniper Rhino, Mustache Snake, Sand Horse, Fire Turtle, Brain Bear, and Schizophrenic Magnet Dog. Also Stitch is there for some reason... As the press is grilling him for his adventures over the last year, there is breaking news that much of the downtown St. Canard area is being destroyed by our brand new villain:

That's right. Cat-Tankerous. I told you... this thing's cup runneth over with brilliance. Anyway, Darkwing doesn't want to leave the limelight, but he is urged to go downtown and stop the rampaging feline. His battle is reported on by the always timely Webra Walters, while she also interviews Darkwing's mayoral opponent Constance A. Dention (Ok, so that name falls flat, but there is some foreshadowing, no doubt). She claims that Batm- I mean, Darkwing is bad for the city and he is not the hero that the city deserves. Cutting back tot he fight, Darkwing can't figure out how to beat this guy and none of his weapons of fighting tricks are working. Gosilyn calls into the news station and argues that Constance is wrong that that she believes in Harv- Darkwing Duck (Can't imagine why I keep doing that...). While watching the fight and going on her tirade over the phone, she stops suddenly, hangs up and runs out to join the fight. Darkwing continues to get pummeled, even after trying out all the tricks in his utility hat, including some Darkwing Cat Repellant Spray. Just as he's being choked to death, the Dark Wing, piloted by Launchpad, flies into the villain, and the plane is destroyed. The two are about to be crushed when Gosilyn shows up and yells at the cat, which causes him to cry. Darkwing uses this opportunity to pull the cat out of the armor, revealing a tiny, though impeccably dressed, kitten at the helm. I won't lie, I chuckled at the "I can haz destruction" line. Anyway, the reason for his defeat is explained:

And yes, those are the kids from Goof Troop in the background... so do your math on ages and whatnot in the Disney-verse. It made my head hurt.. anyway... after seeing Gosilyn transfrom into Gosmoduck, now out of comission, the cat knew he must become super and make her fall in love with him. His attempts were unsuccesful, but like One Shot, he received the armor by mail with a note that read "Be a better man." After touching it, he felt a new power come over him and he went on his rampage. Cutting from the battle to some lair in another location we are shown a picture of a new villain. Three guesses who's underneath the light bulb...

And for some reason televisions featuring Scrooge McDuck, the two horse/cow characters that no one remembers and perhaps most sinister: Goofy's nose/mouth. Later that night at a rally, Darkwing thanked the police and all those that helped in the villains capture, and is aided by Launchpad. The crowd roars when Launchpad speaks and they cheer for him and ask that he run, instead of Darkwing, for mayor.

Highs: Consistently awesome. What more can I say?

Lows: The heavy knowledge that this is coming to an end kinda drags me down.

Verdict: A. Not the best issue, but far from the worst. This comic is great, as is the rest of the series. Pick this series up ASAP.