Subway #4

So, I mentioned last time, that we were really running low on sport celebrities for Subway to exploit for this comics. And you know what? I was right. The two “athletes” for the final issue are Laila Ali, daughter(?) and footstep-follower of the legendary boxer, Muhammed Ali. The other? Jared Fogle. Yes, the formerly fat Subway enthusiast is now considered a Subway superstar with these famous athletes. Why would these two be together? This comic doesn’t even know because this is our opening scene.

Oh, I get it… Jared’s ability is say the dumbest things ever while Laila points out the obvious. This is gonna be great…

Guess I was wrong about Jared… apparently if you lose weight, your thinner body will develop super-speed. Which is obviously what empowered him to run in a marathon… which is apparently a difficult feat in Subway’s eyes. And is it just me, or, between the guy from the last page and this guy, are all these construction workers badly drawn Irish caricatures? Anyway, the villains this series has picked for fodder have actually been pretty A-list, but they end this with the Manhunters, who no one really cares about. If only there was someone there who was unaffected by Manhunters…

Wow… Float like a butterfly, sting like you’re setting women back 50 years. Really? Glowing boxing gloves for her… when you can just punch him with those yourself, Hal? Remember how I said no one cares for these Manhunters? Well, that’s because they are pretty easily disposable robots, but its taking the combined efforts of these three (one of which is specifically skilled in beating armies of these guys at a time) to beat just one. So who’s got a plan? This tactic NEVER works… Cement takes a while to harden, even the quick drying stuff, and encasing your enemy in it is just going to make them mad. Oh, is that a Batarang? Well, obviously Batman’s going to swing in, one-punch it, and leave because this is a really easy-

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Supes, Diana, and Flash too? Man, no wonder this universe is getting a reboot… They actually beat the robot off panel and all leave, leaving our main pair left. And how can we end this stimulating comic? Obviously with a sandwich description…
Jared is friggin creepy. I’ll say it. Look at his eyes there. And if you take that as a sexual “Hey” at the end, it’s even worse. That dude scares me…