"Another Hole in the Wall:" Duke Nukem, professional badass, has had a number of games over the last couple decades. However, for the last 15, his games have been in limbo, leading many to feel the chances for the character's return were out the window. Then, Tuesday, Duke Nukem Forever launched. This is the story of what Duke's been up to in since we last saw him.
Summary: We open up to Duke heading for a dive bar in Roswell, New Mexico that specializing in the three B's: Beer, Babes, and Boobs. Taking a seat near the stage at the joint, Duke orders a beer and sits back for the show. The majority of the comic takes place with the waitress, bartender, and a patron at the bar, as they trade ideas on if that really is Duke, and where he has been for the last 14 years. The waitress once heard this story from one of her friends that spent some time with him a few years back in Hawaii. We then cut to the beach where Duke is being fawned over by numerous women when the SMART (Synthetic Mutated Attack Robot Terrorist) Sharks appear. Cue some wonderful new and classic Duke lines, followed by gratuitous violence. After all the sharks have been killed, a luau happens and we are led to believe all of these women then went to Duke's for "bedroom limbo." The bartender still doesn't believe that Duke even exists, so the patron tells his story. Duke is at the White House, being honored for saving the world again, when aliens attack (surprise). Once again, we get the cheesy Duke dialogue mixed with hardcore violence. Then Duke apparently has an orgy in the Lincoln bedroom (What's this guy's appeal, again?). The bartender still doesn't believe any of this stuff, when two pig creatures emerge from a portal, wanting to take all the women. Three guesses what happens next. After dispatching the beasts, Duke leaves the bar, without paying, and when the bartender asks for a tip, at least, Duke spurts out a line of dialogue, straight out of Hemingway, Fitzgerald, or a Bronte sister: "Yeah, I gotta tip for ya, you fat moron... Always bet on Duke. Its time to show those damn, dirty aliens that what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas... stays dead." Simply brilliant. And in case you forgot where this story takes place, don't feel bad, so did the writer apparently.
High Points: If you are a Duke Nukem fan, this thing is for you, no question about it. The character feels just like his classic game counterpart. The art is actually nice as well, but nothing special.
Low Points: Not a fan? Odds are you will hate it for all the same reasons the person above loved it.
Hail to the "King" Count: 6
Verdict: B. I was harsh on this comic because I thought it was awful, corny, and way too violent, but that's exactly what Duke Nukem is. This is apparently a precursor to Duke's new comic series, so if you like this, be sure to check out Duke Nukem: Glorious Bastard. Care to add anything, kid from Back to the Future III?
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